I can Dream.... Right?

Progression of the painting for the post, "In the Studio: Color Joy," stay tuned to see it develops.

I DREAM of being ready when a Licenser comes calling to sign me, for some main stream product design all while still maintainimg my small business at least until I get popular enough with the company that I am designing for in which I make an income that will contribute handsomely to our family... oh, lets say to start just $45to 50 thousand a year with the first ultimate goal being $60, 000 (you see how I am not trying to limit myself, LOL!).

I DREAM of first becoming a very successful Etsy seller, one that designs things that people can't wait to own (I am working on getting my courage up I have being working on product for too long and have not put a real effort toward uploading anything to sell in my shop). Becoming so popular of an Etsy seller that, I must hire an assistant to help me manifest the merchandise ideas that I want to sell, is my first goal.

The problem with this Dream is....

In reality, I have been stunded!! I have been blind sided by an unsupportive love one. All my life I have been told how talented I am and I actually start selling things I made when I was young, so up until now I believed fully in my talents and what I had to offer the world. It use to seem that I could (beautifully) make anything I put my full efforts into and people approved. But my confidence has been ground to a halt by words of discouragement from someone I love. I pray and I ask myself why am I not able to let this roll off my back and press on... I don't know.

I am still painting and crafting things, I just am dragging my feet when it comes to putting these things up for sale. All of the sudden I am afraid that what the "unsupportive loved one ," says is going to come true and that if this happends I will have know reason to ever paint or craft again (I have always enjoyed painting and crafting for not only my enjoyment but for others to enjoy and the selling part is my need for validation of my talents) I know this sounds very dramatic but I feel this just may be what I believe deep down inside... CRAZY, I know... but very real for me.

I am still writing my thoughts out loud in hopes of breaking this "spell," so that it is not just a DREAM.

1 comment:

Smell Goods Lady said...

Tracy, I watch and admirer how you are embracing all that is you. Continue to Dream, but also continue to be courageous in bulldozing fear. It does hurt when a loved one vocally and non-vocally expresses doubt. A lot of times that is their own fear, one cannot allow that to become their reality. Dig deep for that familiar confidence. Remember those bright eyes that are always watching and absorbing.


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