Layers of Color

I love discovering things, in my own paintings, at thrift stores and now about myself. The way I start a painting is just by being free to pick up what ever color of paint that moves me at that moment and just start putting it down on my canvas, whether I choose to paint some thoughts I have on my mind or to just put down swatches of color. I compare this layering process to life. The process of layering is how we as human beings develop who we are (becoming).

When I first left my parents house and was just being able to freely make decissions such as how late I wanted to stay out and if or when I will clean my place, I did not believe that I was in the mist of discovering who I was but the truth is I've been in that process since that day I was born.
A different view of things.
The good thing is that when I began to truly understand that, that is exactly what life is about, discovering the tone my life has taken and just like in painting if you don't like the way it turned out you can create a new layer and change the look of the painting and your life. I am learning every day to embrace who I am through the layers of color that has developed. The tones of color in my own life are organic and most can be changed at any given time by me to develop the life I desire. This knowing helps me to change to things I don't like and to embrace the things I cannot change.

Self Motivating thoughts.

Reflections

This litlle painting has been done as part of my ongoing practice of learning something new, improving my art. This painting was done on a piece of cardboard from a cracker box, I had cut the box up and threw it in my scrap stash, just for practicing on the fly.
I like the way this turned out... getting pretty good. This measures 4"x 10," just something for the my records.

New York, New York.

Yay!!! I had GREAT FUN. Here are just a few pics from my trip I took with my husband last weekend. We took a train from Connecticut to New York (a new experience for both of us). We stayed at the W Hotel in Time Square and recommend the W because we have had the pleasure of staying with this chain in other cities and they never disappoint, to see the hotel, our room had a great view of Time Square from the 55th floor but the pics did not turn out very well. But I do have pics of the inside of the train station, N.Y.P.D, view from Time Square and the entrance of the hotel and last but not least the New York cabs.
We went to see the play titled: Good People, my husband and I give this play two thumbs up, if you'd like to see a Great play, click the link for tickets, but see the trailer below also.

I can Dream.... Right?

Progression of the painting for the post, "In the Studio: Color Joy," stay tuned to see it develops.


I DREAM of being ready when a Licenser comes calling to sign me, for some main stream product design all while still maintainimg my small business at least until I get popular enough with the company that I am designing for in which I make an income that will contribute handsomely to our family... oh, lets say to start just $45to 50 thousand a year with the first ultimate goal being $60, 000 (you see how I am not trying to limit myself, LOL!).

I DREAM of first becoming a very successful Etsy seller, one that designs things that people can't wait to own (I am working on getting my courage up I have being working on product for too long and have not put a real effort toward uploading anything to sell in my shop). Becoming so popular of an Etsy seller that, I must hire an assistant to help me manifest the merchandise ideas that I want to sell, is my first goal.

The problem with this Dream is....

In reality, I have been stunded!! I have been blind sided by an unsupportive love one. All my life I have been told how talented I am and I actually start selling things I made when I was young, so up until now I believed fully in my talents and what I had to offer the world. It use to seem that I could (beautifully) make anything I put my full efforts into and people approved. But my confidence has been ground to a halt by words of discouragement from someone I love. I pray and I ask myself why am I not able to let this roll off my back and press on... I don't know.

I am still painting and crafting things, I just am dragging my feet when it comes to putting these things up for sale. All of the sudden I am afraid that what the "unsupportive loved one ," says is going to come true and that if this happends I will have know reason to ever paint or craft again (I have always enjoyed painting and crafting for not only my enjoyment but for others to enjoy and the selling part is my need for validation of my talents) I know this sounds very dramatic but I feel this just may be what I believe deep down inside... CRAZY, I know... but very real for me.

I am still writing my thoughts out loud in hopes of breaking this "spell," so that it is not just a DREAM.

In the Studio: Color Joy

That is what I am feeling like, "Color Joy." This painting is being done on a piece of card board that I am recycling in stead of throwing it out I chose to paint on it and if I like what I've done it will be a keeper. I feel my "Color Joy" today, it's exciting and refreshing to get re-energized again... if there was only a guaranteed way to stay in this zone I would be so there. But I will just rejoice and be glad in it today, Thank You Jesus.

The painting is making me smile the color combo at this stage is great but I know with the way my painitngs develop this is not the end I have more work to do I am just enjoying it at this stage.... ahhhh!

Oh, look close... can you see her?? I used graphite pencil to outline what's starting to appear. I am going to do my house work and if I have some more time today I will come back and see if there is anything more that needs to be out lined in the painting to be developed further... Although I think it is beautiful I know this is not done... there are some hidden deminsion to this that will be found.

She's All Over The Place.

Current video coming soon, these pictures are most current except for the one where she is standing in the heels she is about 5 months there.

The title places Zoe in the same catagory as my last two post, but it's all about Zoe. She has been spreading her wings very, very slowly but then just yesterday she decides to just go for it and now we can't get enough of watching how independant she is becoming. This all comes with worry also due to all the potiental dangers we now have to look out for. Mixed feelings happy that she is exploring but sad that this is another thing that just makes me aware of that fact that we must all grow up and it happens pretty fast.... she's only 8 months and 3 weeks (approx.). She will be saying clear words soon, WoW, how time flies.

Desultory: Rambling

Randon Pictures from my inspiration board.

Again I feel this need.

End result I immediately want to get to the end result. I must learn to enjoy the process of my art although I'd like to think I love the "creative" part of my art... some times I just don't know. What raises doubt is the fact that I am a procrastinater when it comes to just about everything in my life...why? I must get over this it's been to long. But I must say I just now truly understand that when I got things done in the past in a timely manner it was always because I had to do them, the pressure I felt as a single parent made me very bold and crafty, I would always made and sold things when it was just me and my oldest daughter... although I did not think it was because of pressure to make ends meet, now looking back that was the motivation and the dream of having my own Salon and Gift shop was there to keep me having a Ultimate Goal in life which served the purpose of keeping me hopeful for my future.

I am a mother, wife and artist, in that order so a lot of time I have many other responsibilities but my art is important to me. I have been an artist; creative/ crafty person ALL my life, I can not remember a time when I was not creating even if it was not physically, meaning that I could be shopping for anything food, clothes, furniture and the thought would cross my mind on how I could make it differently, what ever "it" was. Right now as a Work at Home mother I have time to reflect on my life and how I operate and frankly I am not exactly liking what I am coming to believe about me. You see I would like to have continued to believe that I am this BOLDly Creative individual that will let nothing stand in my way of what I want. But now the question is what do I want? The Gift Shop/ Salon that sells these hand made few of a kind gifts for: self and friends, with this great little 4 or five seater Salon in the back that specializes in healthy hair care, curly, straight or relaxed.... I think I still want this. But when??? I have not consistantly applied myself with the time I do have in between my children and husband.... Family first, Right? Or is this an excuse.

I am aware and now I shall put into place a workable way to get over this and change but how? I do want to be a SUCCESSFUL Artist and entrepreneur and wife and mother and YES,I can have it all.

Rambling Ahead

The titile says it all I just want to type what is in my head at this moment, it may or may not make since but you've been warned and yes you are welcome to read on or Not.

It is 12:40 after noon here in Connecticut and I have sat down to FREE myself and this blog of the stiffness that it has I guess this would be an excersize to loosen my writing joints if you will. I have always loved art and even the art of writing not saying I felt that I personally am any good and it, in fact I know I'm not but I have this dream of some day writing a book...Wow! I said that out loud. I have lots of opinions and thoughts but not the right words to place on paper to get people to "get it." My husband is a man of many words and he's good with it written or verbally. I admire that in him although at times it can also get on my last nerve.

Yesterday I started yet another painting, while I have yet to complete my "Afro Series" and the Butterfly Project and many other thing, like the rose pillow etc, etc. I LOVE CREATING, but finishing in a timely manner.... well that is another story. This is crazy to me I know procrastinating in not a good thing in fact it's bad because it doesn't allow for the BEST me to shine through in all that I do and can do. I must get over this I have been this way for way to long, oooh the wasted years and the sabotage I do to myself and the things that I say that I want, to be, to do, to have. It's no one but me. I Pray for strength to do what I need to do I Pray for will to accomplish my dreams, goals, etc.

Baby "Z" is 5 months Old Today

During her 4th month Zoe got her ears pieced on Monday November 8th, She's a strong girl and a fighter. When she got her first ear pieced she didn't quite unstand what just happened to her so she didn't cry, her sister's were there to cheer her on so they clapped their hands soon as that lady snapped the earring gun. But soon as the lady went for the other ear she started to grunt and wiggle her body to try to get loose, once she felt she couldn't get away the lady snapped the other ear just as she began to cry but it was over just that quick and because we were clapping a praising her for being a strong little girl she only cried for a moment and had only one tear drop from her eye but we wisked her off and held her tight.

Baby "Z" is also agressively reaching for things and although she is not always successful at grabbing what ever she is going for she is very determined and focused so she doesn't give up... we just have to pull her attention somewhere else by either moving the item out of sight or walking her to another place.

On Saturday November 13, she ate cinnamin applesauce and when her Daddy was holding her, I beckoned her to come to me and she reached for me.

She likes strawberry jello and tries to grab the spoon from whoever is feeding her, she's agressive and desires to hold the spoon herself.

Baby "Z" is 4 months

This Video and photos were taken during her 3rd month of life she is now 4 months old today, Yay!!!
Baby "Z" has been holding her head up strong and straightening her legs so that you can not make her sit down and she's been a very happy baby giggling and laughing, that is until she wants to be picked up and walked around. She has a temper but it's not hard to find out what she wants from you, so I can still say she's a pretty happy baby. She likes play time by herself and doesn't like to be disturbed, you can see her during her playtime on the video below.







Rolled over on her own, Thursday October 7th.