In the Studio

This picture is just a random shot of one wall in the upstairs studio. What have I been up to? Well I have 4 new paintings going and I shot a lot of video that I need to upload to ArtsyLifeTV, soon hopefully. The girls are back in school and me and baby "Z" are trying to figure out how our days without the girls can work for both of us, she misses them so. When the girls get on the bus me and "Z" shower and spend time together first eating breakfast them playing, singing B-I-N-G-O AND Itsy Bitsy Spider (those are her two favorites at the moment, you should see her trying to do the hand motions with "Itsy Bitsy Spider," too funny, she claps and laughs a lot (I Luv her laugh) until she goes down for a nap. Then I'm off to the studio (the dining room next to the kitchen) to get my creative juices flowing I sometimes do small quick paintings (watercolor) or draw... rarely are these sold, they are mainly just for me to tryout something new or just plain old exercise.

This is a bouquet I made with colors that reminded me of autumn, cutting the flowers and placing them in this little tin vase (with a smaller glass vase inside) I had purchased at a dollar store years ago always seems to make it's appearance around this time every year. I do enjoy changing seasons but just not the long winters. If we could lengthen the Spring and Fall I would be very happy. So to ALL my friends on twitter, facebook, ArtsyLifeTV and new people that drop by this blog, Thank You. And we have a new Giveaway coming soon, be sure to check out all the above links and subscribe, friend me and Like me... but in the mean time answer one or both of the questions.... What do you do to spark your creative flames? and or what do you tend to do every year around this time?

"Being" a response to fellow artist Mystele

this painting is a work in progress for my "Afro Series"

This post is to add to the conversation that a fellow artist is having over on her blog and the topic is "being" who you are and yet continuing to still blossom in to who you are becoming. I think of this as understanding yourself and "being" open to the fact that in our
lives we all have the chance to turn from the caterpillar to the beautiful butterfly but.... like the caterpillar we sometimes have to sit still. The Still times in our lives may be times when everything we are going through is not what we wanted for ourselves but with a shift in retrospect we can look back and see how we were in our transforming state. Unlike the catapillar though we may go through transformation several times in our lives before we are our ultimate-selves (A Beautiful Butterfly).

I know that in my "being" I am in a transforming state right now and for me things are taking a bit longer to get to the other side (to the place where I have invisioned for myself). But I am thankful that I can understand that although I still get impatient from time to time, I have learned to take a moment, B R E A TH (meditate/ Pray) and proceed with caution (not for fear) because wisdom is being bestowed upon me. Wisdom.... Oh it's such a Great gift. Having wisdom does not mean I have all the answers... not at all.. but it does mean I will be equiped to deal with my lifes ups and downs with MORE patients and will seek to understand better, other than getting frantically upset like in past situations (which only made things worst). I am enjoying just "Being," living and loving life, taking the good with the not-so-good, just continuing to LEARN to be a better me.

Please stop by Mystele's blog and see what she's up to.

A Need to Create

These paintings have been considered "works in progress for over a year and now I have come to know I dislike this painting enough to just paint over it.
I read this post on Kristina's blog today and she had said she painted because she had a need to create in another post she titled "Rejection" and it made me think about my own need to create. I discovered my need to create when I was a young child, somehow having a pen, pencil, markers, crayons, scissors and paper always made me happy. It really is an unexplainable joy I get when I create something I am pleased with. Although there is a very small percentage of all of the items I have created that I truly love... I just enjoy being creative. I truly have a need to create, but the funny thing is there are days when the need is there but the inspiration of ideas are not flowing... crazy I know especially after claiming I have a need to create. I have found that my percentage of creating things I do not love has went down because I have found when I don't have the inspiration, I must not even try to create. If I do disaster usually happens (paintings above examples of this), this is the way I used to believe and reading her post changed my perspective on trying to avoid what I called my disasterous paintings and art projects. I understand that even if the percentage of things I create, that "I Love" are few that is OK and I am just fulling my need to create and this is just who I am and that is just fine.

This banner is from my girls school gym, but it is soooo.... what I am feeling like right now. I am working on some exciting projects to be revealed as they come to reality. I just seen this banner and it spoke to me as to how I feel the colors are happy and that is me.

Here is the link to see my children's performance with their class. Renny and Bell

The Moment You Stop Learning...

These pics are of a view taken from my deck, such a peaceful sight at 6:30 am, this may just be growing on me.


But back to my thought, the moment you stop learning (or being open to lifes possibilities) you begin the dying process. Wow!!! This thought caught my attention this morning, because of how simply true it is.

Replace the word learning with growing when it comes to a life of a plant for example, the life cycle is to be planted be watered/ fed and grow and seed and die. In the cause of us humans it's basically the same except that we would all like to believe that we can control how long we live a bit more than a plant. The desired belief is that we LIVE as long as we continue to grow/ Learn... and I will latch on to that belief. I am really seeking to LIVE a full and exciting life not just existing until the end of life (not just walking around like a zombe, per se but really ALIVE) and tying this thought to the "Layers of Color" post, I am seeking to continue to layer onto my life. I have been afraid of making mistakes and therefore keeping my life in a frozen state of blaaahhhhh....
No longer!!!

Learn, Grow and LIVE.
Self motivating Thoughts.

I can Dream.... Right?

Progression of the painting for the post, "In the Studio: Color Joy," stay tuned to see it develops.


I DREAM of being ready when a Licenser comes calling to sign me, for some main stream product design all while still maintainimg my small business at least until I get popular enough with the company that I am designing for in which I make an income that will contribute handsomely to our family... oh, lets say to start just $45to 50 thousand a year with the first ultimate goal being $60, 000 (you see how I am not trying to limit myself, LOL!).

I DREAM of first becoming a very successful Etsy seller, one that designs things that people can't wait to own (I am working on getting my courage up I have being working on product for too long and have not put a real effort toward uploading anything to sell in my shop). Becoming so popular of an Etsy seller that, I must hire an assistant to help me manifest the merchandise ideas that I want to sell, is my first goal.

The problem with this Dream is....

In reality, I have been stunded!! I have been blind sided by an unsupportive love one. All my life I have been told how talented I am and I actually start selling things I made when I was young, so up until now I believed fully in my talents and what I had to offer the world. It use to seem that I could (beautifully) make anything I put my full efforts into and people approved. But my confidence has been ground to a halt by words of discouragement from someone I love. I pray and I ask myself why am I not able to let this roll off my back and press on... I don't know.

I am still painting and crafting things, I just am dragging my feet when it comes to putting these things up for sale. All of the sudden I am afraid that what the "unsupportive loved one ," says is going to come true and that if this happends I will have know reason to ever paint or craft again (I have always enjoyed painting and crafting for not only my enjoyment but for others to enjoy and the selling part is my need for validation of my talents) I know this sounds very dramatic but I feel this just may be what I believe deep down inside... CRAZY, I know... but very real for me.

I am still writing my thoughts out loud in hopes of breaking this "spell," so that it is not just a DREAM.

Rambling Ahead

The titile says it all I just want to type what is in my head at this moment, it may or may not make since but you've been warned and yes you are welcome to read on or Not.

It is 12:40 after noon here in Connecticut and I have sat down to FREE myself and this blog of the stiffness that it has I guess this would be an excersize to loosen my writing joints if you will. I have always loved art and even the art of writing not saying I felt that I personally am any good and it, in fact I know I'm not but I have this dream of some day writing a book...Wow! I said that out loud. I have lots of opinions and thoughts but not the right words to place on paper to get people to "get it." My husband is a man of many words and he's good with it written or verbally. I admire that in him although at times it can also get on my last nerve.

Yesterday I started yet another painting, while I have yet to complete my "Afro Series" and the Butterfly Project and many other thing, like the rose pillow etc, etc. I LOVE CREATING, but finishing in a timely manner.... well that is another story. This is crazy to me I know procrastinating in not a good thing in fact it's bad because it doesn't allow for the BEST me to shine through in all that I do and can do. I must get over this I have been this way for way to long, oooh the wasted years and the sabotage I do to myself and the things that I say that I want, to be, to do, to have. It's no one but me. I Pray for strength to do what I need to do I Pray for will to accomplish my dreams, goals, etc.